When I see a parent walking down the street with one of those double-wide baby strollers, the message I receive is, "I'm more important than everyone else on earth."
I always imagine the moment in the store when this person (usually a size 4 white woman in her early 30's) is picking out this monstrosity of a stroller. She's thinking, "Since I'm the first person on earth who has ever had the moral fortitude to bring TWO children into the world, I deserve the extra sidewalk space. Yes, it will make riding buses and trains horribly uncomfortable for everyone else, but people will get out of my way naturally, since I'm so inherently important. That seems reasonable. I'm sure people will just think my babies are so cute that they won't mind. And if I only have one of the kids with me, I'll just put a teddy bear in the second seat, and it will be SO CUTE."
I get the same message from bike riders who insist on riding their bikes on the sidewalk - EVEN THOUGH it is clearly spray painted on every corner "NO BIKES ON SIDEWALK."
I imagine this person thinking, "Should I ride in the road, or on the sidewalk? Well... if I ride in the road, people might not notice me as much, which makes me sad on the inside. Instead, I'll ride on the sidewalk where everyone can be impressed with my speed and agility!"
I GET IT. Everyone hates me and wants me to die, move off the sidewalk and get run over by cars.
How dare I not ride a bicycle and not have babies with me, but still expect to be able to take up a small part of the sidewalk!
I'm clearly a horrible human being.
the best is when bikers on the sidewalk get annoyed with you for being in their way. Dude, you're breaking the law, and you're mad I'm not making it easier on you? Seriously?
ReplyDeleteVehicles belong in the street people. I know it's more dangerous than the sidewalk, but I'm not the one who chose to get a bicycle.
Peggy, I miss your wit. This was hilarious!
ReplyDeleteYesterday, this little twerp on a bike rode by me on the sidewalk, and right as he passed me, he jabbed me in the shoulder. Like, with his finger, I think. I would have given anything to have something throw-able in my hand. All I could do was shout threats at him. He was probably 14, and totally needs to get his ass kicked. BIG TIME.
ReplyDeletethose things are like the SUV of strollers. When I was finally in the market for a double stroller I thought "Those side by side ones are so obnoxious at the fair (the only crowded place I go) I better get one that has one kid behind the other. It takes up even less space when I wear my baby in a sling, though. (is that going to be your next post? babywearers? then I will shut up right now.)
ReplyDeleteHa! They are SUVs. I think baby slings are awesome! I'm always impressed when I see people out with those. That's how west african moms do it, and they'll wear their babies all day long, while doing manual labor. They are super heroes. I can hardly handle carrying my purse...
ReplyDeleteHa, I had a double stroller but not the side by side version. Hey, I had twins, bite me.
ReplyDeleteI have no beef with the non-side-by-side variety. They at least attempt to be a reasonable size.
ReplyDeleteIt's like pushing a semi truck. I couldn't wait until my kids could actually walk.
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