structure-free day 1

Friday was my last day of work, and I spent yesterday at my internship, so today is officially my first day of self-selected unemployment.

So far, it's pretty awesome.

I start school full-time in June, so I have approximately 6 weeks to milk all the awesomeness out of voluntary non-productiveness.

My goals for this time are three-fold:
1) Get my running distance up to 4 miles
2) Develop a new stand-up act
3) Finish a quilt

Crap, that looks like a lot of productiveness. But I'm hoping to do it in a relatively slothful way, so I'm not too worried about it.

This morning, I walked to this really great coffee shop (The Perfect Cup) to work on some jokes, and I ordered an egg and cheese wrap. Then I horrified the waitress by only eating the egg and cheese out of it and leaving the tortilla.

You see, I'm trying to avoid a horrible diabetes-ridden old age, so I'm cutting back on the simple carbohydrates.

The waitress asked me if I was ok.

It was very bizarre.

I wanted to tell her I'd be better if they had even one thing on the menu with vegetables in it. But I decided to leave it alone.

Then I made the always-demoralizing journey to Aldi.

For all of you who haven't experienced an Aldi, it's sort of like if you checked yourself into the psych ward of a state hospital, and were then forced to wrestle the other patients for low-quality food products.

But the thing is... it's SO CHEAP. And I'm unemployed now, so I need to suck it up and become a regular.

I managed to dodge the 9 transients blocking the door and was immediately tailed by a semi-deranged eastern european man who seemed harmless until he started bumping me with his shopping cart.

I gave him the bitch-face stare, and he backed off.

I have mad street skillz, people.

I know at least 6 ways of keeping unwanted people away from me using only my cunning and colorful vocabulary.

Now I'm at home, setting up my new lexmark combo printer/scanner for my home office needs, while listening to the Stage & Screen channel on cable radio.

You know what I never noticed?
Sixteen going on Seventeen is a really shitty song.